is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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