Kiss
Puke
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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