apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
