I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
