I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just had sex bonerless
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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