Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
