Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We were destined to go to rehab together
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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