2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
