he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
