A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He has the fingertips of a God
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