Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
