Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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