I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you made out with another girl for some wings
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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