GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
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