would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
