I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
