check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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