There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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