every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
