so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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