and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
