tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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