so that wasnt chicken after all
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
