Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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