let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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