I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize