Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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