Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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