Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
