She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
