brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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