Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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