everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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