she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
