One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
