She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
