You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I love you.
Bad choice
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
