He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
