If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
