I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
