I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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