is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
