i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
