Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
