I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My dick has a subreddit
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
