That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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