Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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