Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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