So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
