It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
