you guys were way drunker than both of me
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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