I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
