Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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