guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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