thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
