Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
