go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
