I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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