it wasn't lemon gatorade
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize