maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I party with great urgency now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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