OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
