I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
