They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
